The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hype

by Robert Louis Stevenson

The horrifying tale of respected doctor Henry Jekyll who, after accepting a role in a marketing firm, transforms into the hideous, duplicitous corporate shill, Edward Hype.

Bigger than Hooligan

Dear Hotshot.

Woopie ding.  So you're a big rock'n'roll star now.  Drink champagne in limousines with Vince Neil as your chauffeur.  Forget about your grassroots fans who were there when you were sick in bed.  Change your name to The No-Goodniks.  Buy shares in Procter & Gamble.  Eat lead.  Set fire.  Solve ancient riddles.  One day you'll discover in the bottom of an old drawer the faded remains of dignity once upheld by longshoremen.  Then you'll know how much you've sold out, man.

Get fucked.

Donny Most

Word.

It used to be that a word wasn't a word unless it had three letters in it. "Unless it had three letters in it" is a word-count of four. Then Microsoft Word came along and counted words such as "it," "to," "be," "in," and "a" as words.

At this point journalists and sub-editors came to blows in newsrooms the world over, and editorial departments fell into chaos in the War of the Word Count.

Battle by the Scrivener

by Herman Melville

This proofreader would prefer not to, and is prepared to back it up!

Danny the Champion of the Wold

by Roald Dahl

Young Danny devises a scheme to poach every last one of Victor Hazell's pheasants, and sells Hazell's Wood to a logging company.

SANDRA 5000

My favourite prank I played at university was when I was on the Student Council.  The Council was angry with its full-time administration staff over an organisation consultant whom we felt was contracted without justification or approval.

We skirmished with a minority faction on the right who supported the staff, but we were at diplomatic war with the consultant herself.  Her name was Sandra, and the most memorable moment of her for us was her pounding on the table at a meeting and shouting: "Why won't you just submit?!"

The upcoming Student Union's Annual General Meeting would vote on the disputed contract.  It was scheduled for the same day as the release of "Star Trek: First Contact," about Picard and crew's encounter with the Borg Collective.  I drafted a poster and we hung copies all over campus:

SUBMIT!
   to the
Annual General Meeting
November 22 1996
Death is irrelevant!
Resistance is futile!
Assimilate!

The right faction was furious when they noticed that the poster, read vertically, spelled "SANDRA."

Hope, BC

We are surprised by the tenacity of hope, and when we try to kill it we overdo it.