Home renovations

Hi, Kyle.

I received your letter, thank you. I must admit, though, I was a bit confused by it. Actually, I was very confused by it. It didn't really make any sense. I mean, if you removed the floor of your kitchen, you'd probably reveal dirt underneath, or a concrete slab, but not a void. And if you could create a void where your kitchen floor once was... well, a void has zero air pressure, so everything would get sucked into it. The toaster, and the garbage can, things like that. Including yourself if you were standing there, air pressure is that powerful. And this is just one of the things in your letter that didn't make sense. There are scores of others.

But I digress. What I really wanted to talk about was A NEW CAR! This sports utility features air conditioning, four-wheel drive, and convertible snow pants, all included in your holiday to HAWAII! You'll spend five fabulous fun-filled minutes looking for your keys to your new car when you take the top down on your snow pants. So DON'T DO THAT! Back to you, Bob.