30 October 2010

House of Saud and Fog

by Andre Dubus III

When King Abdullah is ousted from the Saudi throne, he moves to San Francisco and opens a bar in the closed down Fogg 'n' Sudds, the ownership of which is disputed by the deceased owner's alcoholic daughter. Everybody dies.

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hype

by Robert Louis Stevenson

The horrifying tale of respected doctor Henry Jekyll who, after accepting a role in a marketing firm, transforms into the hideous, duplicitous corporate shill, Edward Hype.

Bigger than Hooligan

Dear Hotshot.

Woopie ding.  So you're a big rock'n'roll star now.  Drink champagne in limousines with Vince Neil as your chauffeur.  Forget about your grassroots fans who were there when you were sick in bed.  Change your name to The No-Goodniks.  Buy shares in Procter & Gamble.  Eat lead.  Set fire.  Solve ancient riddles.  One day you'll discover in the bottom of an old drawer the faded remains of dignity once upheld by longshoremen.  Then you'll know how much you've sold out, man.

Get fucked.

Donny Most

28 October 2010

Word.

It used to be that a word wasn't a word unless it had three letters in it. "Unless it had three letters in it" is a word-count of four. Then Microsoft Word came along and counted words such as "it," "to," "be," "in," and "a" as words.

At this point journalists and sub-editors came to blows in newsrooms the world over, and editorial departments fell into chaos in the War of the Word Count.