Doppelganger

A lady approached me in the cafe as I was writing and sipping coffee.

"Hello," she said. "Are you James?"

"Yes," I said. "Nice to meet you!"

My name is not James.

She sat down and rattled off anecdotes of professional sound and lighting troubles, and I nodded and laughed and said "yes" a lot. Finally she said to me: "Do you have any ideas?"

"No, I'm sorry," I said. "I'm not James."

Silence. Long, perplexed look, wheels turning. She coughed the first syllable of a laugh and then returned to the turning wheels before proffering a tentative: "but... you said your name was James."

"I thought it was," I said, and I got up and paid my bill.

Gunkie

by William S. Burroughs

Warped tales of Gumby and his pony pal Pokie.

The Fiend

Harold hid himself away like a hermit.  He smoked pot, dreamed of a hair transplant, and masturbated to online porn.  In the day he was a banker.  A smart banker.  A good banker.  Smart suit, good hair.  But at night he was a masturbator and a dope fiend.  And nobody knew.

Until something happened which would change his life forever.

He died.

And they all looked at his browser history.

The Tall Tale Heart

Discredited Poe work.

House of Saud and Fog

by Andre Dubus III

When King Abdullah is ousted from the Saudi throne, he moves to San Francisco and opens a bar in the closed down Fogg 'n' Sudds, the ownership of which is disputed by the deceased owner's alcoholic daughter. Everybody dies.

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hype

by Robert Louis Stevenson

The horrifying tale of respected doctor Henry Jekyll who, after accepting a role in a marketing firm, transforms into the hideous, duplicitous corporate shill, Edward Hype.

Bigger than Hooligan

Dear Hotshot.

Woopie ding.  So you're a big rock'n'roll star now.  Drink champagne in limousines with Vince Neil as your chauffeur.  Forget about your grassroots fans who were there when you were sick in bed.  Change your name to The No-Goodniks.  Buy shares in Procter & Gamble.  Eat lead.  Set fire.  Solve ancient riddles.  One day you'll discover in the bottom of an old drawer the faded remains of dignity once upheld by longshoremen.  Then you'll know how much you've sold out, man.

Get fucked.

Donny Most