The Mysterious McMuffin

His name was Mr McMuffin. He ate children. If you're not careful, he'll eat you. Now listen. Mr McMuffin had a limp, which he named Albert. McMuffin and Albert would go on late night walks through the town after the streetlamps had been extinguished. "Where are we going?" McMuffin would ask. Albert would never answer.

One day, a parcel arrived from Mr McMuffin's great aunt Elda. "Albert!" McMuffin called. "Something in the post for you." Albert never replied, and the package went unopened.

When Elda died, McMuffin was dumbstruck to learn she had willed him to someone named Silas Muck. McMuffin begrudgingly packed his bags and hailed a passing dray. He and Albert climbed aboard.

"I'm Silas Muck's," he said to the driver, who looked at him. The driver cracked the whip and the dray clopped off into the night, carrying the mysterious Mr McMuffin away to a new home.